Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Boobs are out for the taking
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
