i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Just invented taco cereal.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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