I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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