I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
