remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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