We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
