the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Randomize
