After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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