just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
