I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
