hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize