Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
