Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
