Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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