the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
