just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
