Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
