I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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