i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Bring me that man meat
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
