I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize