They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
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