wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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