the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
