he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
