im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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