I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize