Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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