Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Just high enough for therapy.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
