I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
