pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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