i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Randomize
