He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Randomize
