I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
