the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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