when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
