He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
