You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
