you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize