By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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