remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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