You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
