Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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