if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
