I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
