I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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