There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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