You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
