thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I think I won the penis lottery.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
