Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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