yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
