so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
