I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
please come you make the beer taste better
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize