I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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