I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
