I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
