I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
